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Peep at Japanese life?
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hell & heaven
I am in Nara now staying at Minoru's house. I have been reading this book titled 'After the Affair', since Minoru was reading it. Minoru found this interesting since he had met several folks having affairs from last year to this year.
My ex had an affair with one of his old co-workers. It did not lose my love to him but we could not rebuild our trust and I chose to get divorce after an year of the discovery. The time he betrayed me was only twice according to his speach but it was way enough to break my heart and break our relationship. In chaper 1 of this book, I can see my feeling back then. It was very painful to read it (I have not finished reading this. Probably 40-50 pages to read.), if I try to remember how I felt back then it gave me really unpleasant feeling so I tried not to recall it and read it as just an reading object.
What Minoru said when I told him about me might kiss the vocalist in my band, was that he could not believe me saying it since I had gone through those pains from last time marriage. He could not believe that I am insensitive enough to have an affair with someone knowing the partner's pain, from the experiences. He said it shocked him the most.
It might sound weird though, when I thought about the kissing, I could never imagine Minoru's pain as reality. I could think about it a bit but not for real and I realised that I am like trying to erase that memory from my mind. When I try to think about those time, my feeling becomes close to numb.
I believe Minoru is one of my soul mates. Very special person in this world to me.
He helps me grow in many ways, understand surroundings by sharing each other's experiences and so on.
The day I met him, I had very special feelings toward him. I did not have much excitement as I had to guys on the start of loves but I felt a maternal love even though I never had a child before. I wanted to heal his pains and wanted him to become as happy as he could get with just the way he was. I felt like I really could understand some of his pains since I had the same before and back then as well. The feeling that nobody said it was ok to be the way he was, being accepted just the way he was. I did not believe that I had that from my parents. My dad was hardly home and my mother... she was ok when I was little compared to after I got in junior high school though, after that period, I felt like my mom has never been happy just the way I was. She always wanted more than how I was. So my ex was the first one to me to accept the way I was. My weakness, lack of confidence etc. and I loved the way he was as well. So when I found out his affair, it threw my world into utter confusion. I became not sure about anything in the world, I felt like I did not know anything, even to the things that I felt like I was familier with. Well, enough for old time stories though, through talks with Minoru last night, I realised that I was trying to send him (= old myself) warnings not to trust somebody so much since it will hurt you... I did not know I was doing that, but I started to realise that through the talk. When Minoru says things very sweet to me, I used to get uncomfortable sometimes and start to worry about him that he might get hurt by trusting me or loving me so much, because I knew that pain.
Well, if you are interested in people who run to relationship outside-marriage(?), you might find interesting reading this book.
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How to make luv all the time
Read this book today. I borrowed this from my boyfriend. Book was quite good.
It tells you the importance of telling the partner and other people what you really feel, I agree that is quite important. I would recommend this book to everyone  .
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Relackuma life :)
Nowadays meat around my waist is appealing his existence.... "Hey Topo, I am here, I am here!!!" "quiet.....!"
"It is not fat, it is nutrition" you know. Cos Relackuma told me so.
"Relackuma life" ("Relackuma seikatsu" in Japanese: kuma means bear btw: Relackuma is a blended word of relax and bear(kuma) I reckon) is a popular book in Japan.
Relackuma tells you to slow down and take it easy.
There is a tiny chick character you see in the bottom of the picture, who is a bit sarcastic and say some harsh comments on Relackuma ;P.
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Uhhun
I am reading a book titled "Uhhun" right now. This is the book that one of my friends introduced me.
This is about poop and sex lol! It is quite interesting so far! The author seems to be highly educated according to his academic background, bus he is so freaking FUNNY :D!
He goes to Indonesia every summer, and do some researches. Indonesia seemed to have lots in common with Japan on cultural basis. Their language pronunciation (not Indonesian but the local one) is very similar to Japanese (every word consist of voiceless consonant and voiced consonant -- I am not sure if this makes senses to people who are reading this. For example an English word "record" is used as Japanese now though we pronounce it like "recohdo"...).
It is funny that they call ring (something you wear on fingers), "chinchin" which means "penis" in Japanese .
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Peep at Japanese life?
. By reading this book made me very happy and I even cried reading some parts of the book. If some of you can read Japanese (I am talking to you